Bringing men into the menstrual cycle

This is something I thought I’d be speaking about much later on in this journey but, (at the time of writing) in my current overly emotional premenstrual state, I decided that now would be a great time to shed some light on why I think men (or anyone who doesn’t menstruate) need to understand just as much about the menstrual cycle as women (or anyone who DOES menstruate)…

Cycle tracking has literally changed my life.

I will say it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.

A HUGE part of that has been including my (extremely supportive) partner in that journey and helping him to also understand the cycle related fluctuations that affect my emotions, my energy levels, my sex drive and basically every single aspect of my life.

When I’m bleeding (my inner winter), he now knows that I mostly prefer to drink ginger tea, lie down as much as possible and that my womb needs to stay warm - so he brings me a hot water bottle and helps me to prepare broth and encourages me to rest.

When I move into my follicular phase (my inner spring), he knows that I will have a lot more energy to go out and do things - so he plans adventures and more energetic activities for us to do together. He also now knows that is when my sex drive is at its highest and when I’m most likely to be open minded and prefer penetrative sex…

When I move into my ovulatory phase (my inner summer), he knows that I am at my most outgoing and want to do EVERYTHIIINNNGGGG - so he encourages me to see my friends and go out for runs and he will help me to get all of the shit done that I suddenly have all of the energy for.

When I move into my premenstrual phase (my inner autumn), he knows that’s when I slow down and most likely get a lot more grumpy and a lot more irritable and like his jokes a whole lot less and get very easily overwhelmed with too much noise… - so he chooses to play calmer, quieter music when I’m around (or wears his headphones) and he knows that during this time I prefer more sensual touch and kisses and cuddles and massages. He also knows that my hormones are (mostly) responsible for my personality transplant and knows not to take it personally… He also knows that this is the time when I’m hardest on myself and he tries his absolute best to give me as much love and reassurance as I (so desperately) need when my inner critic is LOUD! Even though it probably doesn’t matter what he says, I won’t like it…

I am very, very lucky to have someone in my life who not only wants to understand my cycle but actively works with me to make my life (and, by consequence, his life) as easy as it possibly can be.

It takes work.

This hasn’t happened overnight.

First of all, I had to learn about my OWN cycle so that I knew what I actually felt and needed and wanted during each phase for myself before I was able to actually communicate that to him.

Secondly, it has taken a LONG time for us to both figure out a routine and communication strategy that is healthy and balanced for us as a couple.

I can’t tell you (or your partner) how to support each other with your menstrual cycle. Every single menstrual cycle is as different as we are from each other and it is up to YOU, as an individual, to figure that out for yourself first.

It is honestly the best practice I have ever introduced to my life and I really, truly believe that knowing my cycle and working with it has also saved my relationship.

I can’t wait to share this magic!